Things in the shape of the Virgin Mary
The 10 Commandments. The Shroud of Turin.
A cornflake.
The good lawd chooses strange vessels for his message. And while vessels like Morgan Freeman and Alanis Morissette are definitely strange, at least they make some sense. Unless the rumors are true and you’re Dave Coulier, and that bitch calls you in the middle of dinner. I mean, fuck that – you’re the only thing standing between three wily girls and Bob Saget, and fucking Kimmy Gibbler keeps stopping by in a clearly coke-induced stupor so she can skull fuck John Stamos with a glow-in-the-dark 80s strap-on (as if there’s any other kind), and now on top of it all Alanis “Jagged Pill” Morisette is interrupting meatloaf night?!!??
Sorry, sometimes I just go there and it’s hard to come back.
What I’m trying to say is, a message of hope to humanity probably won’t come in the form of a pretzel: Read the rest of this entry »
